December 18, 2003, 08:36 AM
Don NortonKiller ants
A Heartwarming Tale for Young and Old
It was wintertime, and all the ants in the colony were snug in their nest. Every evening, they all met in the big chamber so they could listen to tales from Old Don, the oldest ant in the nest. He had served with the army in South America, devouring anything in his path along with billions of his fellow killer ants, where he had lost a feeler and 2 legs in a fight with an armadillo. He also had lived among the humans, so he knew a lot and always had great stories. However, he was quite mad.
All the little ants gathered around the front of the crowd, Wendi, BCW, Meander, Wolfman-Golf, and Barbara C (ants don’t have last names, the C was to distinguish her between her sisters Barbara A and Barbara B, and her brother, Barbara D). Some of the older ants were there too, Dobby, Harris, Barobehere, Jessica, and a bunch of ants named Paul.
Tell us a story about the “people with big feet”, said Kesmit.
“Well,” said old Don, “Do you know what tonight is? It’s Christmas Eve.”
“What’s Christmas?” asked Wolfman-golf.
“Christmas is that time of the year when humans are nice to each other. They give each other gifts, have lots of food around the house, and sing songs. They decorate their nests with lights and even bring a real tree inside the house and decorate that. Then, on this night, a delicious looking human named Santa Claus comes to each nest.”
“Who’s Santa Claus?” asked Wolfman –Golf.
“I’m getting to that! Quit flappin’ yer mandibles!” said Don. “Santa Claus is from the North Pole, where no ants live. He travels in a vehicle pulled by flying deer!”
There was silence throughout the crowd, they all knew about the human’s advanced technology, such as bug zappers and popcorn makers, but none of them imagined the humans could make flying deer.
“When Santa comes to each human nest, he gives them presents, and when they wake up in the morning, they open the presents up and are real happy.”
Little Wendi imagined Santa coming to the ant’s nest and giving them candy or a dead grasshopper. As the other ants listened to Don’s story, BCW and Wolfman-Golf scurried off to the entrance to the nest. They went up and dug through the cold white stuff called snow, and when they emerged outside, they saw the most beautiful sight. The people with the big feet had decorated their nest with bright lights, and inside the nest, they could see a tree, also covered with lights and decorations. BCW called down to the others, and soon, many of the ants were milling about in the cool snow, looking at the otherwise plain building, now covered in bright, colorful lights.
“It’s so beautiful” said Jessica to DoubleooSeven and Meander. Just then, from up above, they heard a strange noise. A giant vehicle pulled by eight deer swooped down from the sky and skidded to a halt just a few feet from the awe-struck ants.
Old Don, his head poking out of the hole, shouted “It’s him! It’s Santa Claus!”
“Do you think he’ll have any gifts for us?” wondered Silmapco.
But Santa dismounted his sled and hefting a bag over his shoulder, walked over to the house. He didn’t even see the ants in the snow.
“Quick! “ exclaimed Don, “we have to get his attention – we’ll spell out a message!” and shouting commands to the other ants, they began forming words in the snow.
Santa came out of the house, and as he approached his sleigh, he noticed a teeming mass moving on the pure white snow. In amazement, he watched the mass form into letters, spelling out in the worst penmanship he had ever seen, these words:
MARI CRISMESS
Looking closer, Santa laughed, “Ho ho ho, why it’s a bunch of little ants!” he said. “I think I have something for you in my bag…”
All the ants were overjoyed! Mouseteer hoped there would be a bottle of syrup, Harris wanted a nice piece of dead cricket. Old Don just hoped Santa would put his hand down close to the colony – it had been years since he had tasted human flesh.
Imagine their surprise when Santa turned back with a can of Black Flag Ant and Roach Killer! With extreme prejudice, Santa terminated the entire colony, the loud “ssssssssss” drowning out their pitiful screams for mercy. Santa chuckled “I hate ants.” And before he could even mount his sleigh, the last ant stopped twitching. Their frozen corpses lay in the snow until the spring thaw.
The End
MARI CRISMESS EVERYONE!
December 18, 2003, 08:58 AM
MeanderI'm dead!!!????!!! *twitch* *Twitch*
Mean old fat slob.... *twitch* *Twitch*
Wait A minute---I'm Posting.....Yes!! Card Talk has Brought me back to life!!!!
Come on fellow Ant kin....Hurry and post and you too shall live to trek to the north pole for revenge!!!!
BTW---Cool Story...
__________________________________________________________
No. 13 Group 13 Atomic Weight 26.9815--Doesn't get much better than That!!
December 18, 2003, 08:59 AM
BCWMany thanks for the story Don
Very entertaining. I was expecting a happy ending, but I should have remembered that Santa is evil.
-----
"In this life there are nothing but possibilities..."
Buffy/Angel collector?
http://www.buffycards.co.ukDecember 18, 2003, 09:11 AM
DOUBLEooSEVENI was wondering when this topic would resurface, and you brought it back with a bang Don.
Good work.
'' Devoted Aluminum member '' who should probably be doing school work at this very moment.
December 18, 2003, 10:09 AM
TWSI guess I was bad 'cause TWS didn't make the story. He was an evil ant that TWS and wasn't allowed to join in the ant games..Booo Hoo That's alright..
"Aluminum Boy"
Tom
The Wright Stuff
Aim Id. TWthegreatest
December 18, 2003, 10:15 AM
Don NortonYou were there TWS, you were the second ant from the right in the final scene, your line consisted of "AAAAAAAAEEEEIIII!"
December 18, 2003, 10:18 AM
DOUBLEooSEVENquote:
Originally posted by Don Norton:
You were there TWS, you were the second ant from the right in the final scene, your line consisted of "AAAAAAAAEEEEIIII!"
I thought that was him. See Tom , you made the story.
'' Devoted Aluminum member '' who should probably be doing school work at this very moment.
December 18, 2003, 10:36 AM
MeanderAnd he was Late again!!!
__________________________________________________________
No. 13 Group 13 Atomic Weight 26.9815--Doesn't get much better than That!!
December 18, 2003, 10:46 AM
TWSquote:
Originally posted by Meander:
And he was Late again!!!
Always late....At least I'm consistant...That's okay Don...I know that TWs wasn't in the story...Someday there will be a story about the Evil Ant-TWs! Scrooge Ant-TWS! Bah Humbug!
"Aluminum Boy"
Tom
The Wright Stuff
Aim Id. TWthegreatest
December 18, 2003, 10:59 AM
WendiI'm not dead!! I am as alive as this thread!! Great story, Don!
(except for the Raid,that was sad)
December 18, 2003, 03:03 PM
KesmitThat definately was not Santa Claus.... must have been his evil twin Satan Claus
Thanks for the story and making it 24 pages - proof you just can't keep a good ( or bad ) ant down.
Kevin
Rufus: Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are then don't be there!
December 18, 2003, 04:12 PM
Barbara Cquote:
Originally posted by Don Norton:
All the little ants gathered around the front of the crowd, Wendi, BCW, Meander, Wolfman-Golf, and Barbara C (ants don’t have last names, the C was to distinguish her between her sisters Barbara A and Barbara B, and her brother, Barbara D
I must tell my brother he's had a sex change.
Santa was very bad to those ants.
December 18, 2003, 06:51 PM
The MouseketeerThat was beautiful Don! It brought a tear to my eye. (Or was that the Black Flag fumes?
)
Simba: "You're so weird."
Scar: "You have no idea." ~
The Lion KingDecember 18, 2003, 09:29 PM
Meanderquote:
Originally posted by TWS:
How small would an Mousey Ant be?
Doesn't matter---you'd STILL be able to here the sqeak!!
__________________________________________________________
No. 13 Group 13 Atomic Weight 26.9815--Doesn't get much better than That!!
December 18, 2003, 10:00 PM
Barbara Cquote:
Originally posted by The Mouseketeer:
That was beautiful Don! It brought a tear to my eye. (Or was that the Black Flag fumes? )
LOL. Yes, those fumes are killers.
