|
NSU Home | NSU Store | In The Current Issue... | Contact Us |
|
Go
|
New
|
Find
|
Notify
|
Tools
|
Reply
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What do you call an American drawing?
Yankee doodle! I was once in a play called "Breakfast in Bed" Did you have a big role? No just toast and marmalade! What key went to college? Yale! What is a volcano? A mountain with hiccups!  ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Why was the broom late?
It over slept! What runs but never walks? Water! What is green, four legs and two trunks? Two seasick tourists! Knock, Knock! Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside. ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
A noise woke me up this morning.
What was that? The crack of dawn! It's gone forever - forever I tell you! What has? Yesterday! What’s red and flies and wobbles at the same time? A jelly copter! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Why did the sword swallower swallow an umbrella?
He wanted to put something away for a rainy day! What's the name for a short legged tramp? A low down bum! Why did the man take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains! What's the difference between an American student and an English student? About 3000 miles! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
I want a hair cut please,
Certainly, which one! Do you look in the mirror after you've washed your face? No, I look in a towel! Why was the Egyptian girl worried? Because her daddy was a mummy! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
It's time for your violin lesson.
Oh, Fiddle! How old is your granddad? I don't know but we've had him a long time! What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet! What is a tornado? Mother nature doing the twist! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?
I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it! What button won't you find in a tailors shop? Belly button! Why didn't the banana snore? Because it didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What do you call a man with cow droppings all over his feet?
An incowpoop! If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make? Slippers! Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? He wanted to find Pluto! What happened when the wheel was invented? It caused a revolution! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls?
Because they couldn't spell their names! What is the noisiest game? Squash - because you can't play it without raising a racquet! Where do flies go in winter? To the glass foundry to be turned into bluebottles! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned! "Tell me" said the tourist to the local yokel. "Will this path take me to the main road?" "No sir!", replied the man. "You'll have to go by yourself!" Why are you covered in bruises? I started to walk through a revolving door and I changed my mind! How do you prevent a Summer cold? Catch it in the Winter! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What is the best day of the week to sleep?
Snooze-day! How many rotten eggs does it take to make a stink bomb? A phew! What do cannibals eat for breakfast? Buttered host! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams! What does "Maximum" mean? A very big mother! What is full of holes but can still hold water? A sponge! Why is perfume obedient? Because it is scent wherever it goes! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
Then why aren't you laughing! What do you get if you cross a US President with a shark? Jaws Washington! Why is it not safe to sleep on trains? Because they run over sleepers! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Why do you keep doing the backstroke?
I've just had lunch and don't want to swim on a full stomach! How do we know that Joan of Arc was French? She was maid in France! Who invented underground tunnels? A mole! Why did the clock get sick? It was run down! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
How do you make milk shake?
Give it a good scare! Do you know the time? No, we haven't met yet! What sleeps at the bottom of the sea? A kipper! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck! What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troopers! Did you hear about the man who had BO on one side only? He bought Right Guard, but couldn't find any Left Guard! What has two humps and is found at the North Pole? A lost camel! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams?
A. In floats Q: How do you make a dinosaur float? A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur! Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? A: Ice Cream ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
What has a bottom at the top?
I don't know? Your legs! What is a skeleton? Bones, with the person off! What might you eat in Paris? The trifle tower! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?
Sir Francis Brake! Have you ever seen a man eating tiger? No, but in the cafe next door I once saw a man eating chicken! What is the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half! What do you get if you cross a Scottish legend and a bad egg? The Loch Ness Pongster! ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
|
Platinum Card Talk Member |
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode. Why did the cowboy die with his boots on? Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket! If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe! Do you have any invisible ink? Certainly sir. What color? ____________________ "What if this is as good as it gets?" --WORSE--What if it doesn't get any better! What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. |
|||
|
| Previous Topic | Next Topic | powered by eve community | Page 1 ... 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 ... 31 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
|||
| Site | Non-Sport Update's Card Talk | ||
| Servlet | eve2da016 | ||
| Version | 1.2.22 build 9062 | ||
| Module | Forums 4.0.3 | ||
| Stylesheet | "Default Style" | ||
| Wordlet Set | "Default Wordlet Set" | ||
|
