Negotiation, Print-outs, packaging, keeping receipts, and good communication are vital to trading, but after hundreds of successful trades I've encountered a new one. Make certain you have an agreement about what will happen if the mail is lost.
This should be obvious, and it has been for every trader I've ever dealt with previously. I've always believed that the deal is not complete until we both receive what was promised and we are both satisfied. When I mail something I accept the risk and responsibility of the method I elect to use. I'm always prepared to replace the items if they are lost by the postal service. I always wait for confirmation from the other collector before opening and adding anything to my collection.
I'm now in a trade where the other collector believes that his responsibility ends when he mails his part of the trade. If the post office fails to deliver then that's my problem.
Over the past two months I've waited patiently for the other trader to file a lost mail report, to update me about his efforts, and I've accepted his word that he has made such efforts.
Despite the rarity of the items I was supposed to receive I was willing to consider an alternative of equal value. Instead of doing the right thing the other trader believes he is not obligated to do anything, but is willing to offer me an alternative worth about one third the value of our original agreement. So far I'm out two autographs and some inserts.
I suppose what bothers me most is that the other collector is a newer member of this board. So far I have protected his identity in the hope we can still reach a friendly conclusion, but there will come a time when I have to consider the community. I would hate this to happen to any other member. For that reason, I urge you to make this issue part of managing your future trades, especially with new members.

(NSU, it may be time to add a trade feedback section to this site.)

Xtime is referring to me spidergoblin/Bernie.Hmmm let me explain a few things.While I am a new member of this community,I by no means am new to trading/buying/selling.I have had well over a 1000 successful trades.With plenty of overseas trades a well.This is only my second trade where the other trader did not receive what I sent.I have had about 3-5 trades not arrive to me.I never requested the other trader to ither send back what I sent or to make the trade even somehow,but that's me or my problem.

Anyway,when XT first informed me that there was enough time passed that he had not received what I sent him and to see what I could find out at my local USPS.I talked to a few people both in person and on the phone.I also called Atlanta(lost mail) and because there was not any type of tracking used,they cold not locate it unless somehow found.Which I emailed XT and told him.

I also filed a lost mail form,although it is a generic form no tracking on it either.I was told once again if for some reason the parcel is found they will either forward it to XT or myself.

As far as the make-up part of the trade,my first reply was to send him a few Tomb Raider basic inserts.Ty are not high-end,but I did say that was all I had from his want list at the time.He said to wait til March to wait and see if hopefully the trade shows up.In the mean time I traded away one of he autos XT sent me.So we waited and still nothing.

The lack of my feeling not responsible bears some explaining.although I truly feel bad for XT not getting what I sent him.I cannot do anymore extra other than taking the trade to the USPS.
They lost it not me.That's why when I sell on ebay I state this in my description,that any mail not insured and is lost or damaged I am not responsible.As oh so many state this as well.I know that sometimes trades are different.

My first offer to make it up was for $12-$15 in trade,I believe the trade guide was for about in the $50 range.
Now in the past few days I have received so inserts that XT sent me that I can send him back.I cannot send him what I do not have from his want list.

Anyway sorry for the very long response.I know I will get mostly negative replies towards myself,but I'm willing to take the hit.

I will get with XT and try to finish this with a positive ending.

One thing I will mention,XT has been very polite through this ordeal.Others might not have been so understanding or patient for this long.As I hope other than not answering his emails right away I have not been too negative,but I may have.That's probobly why I will do right by him.
Bernie

I have dealt with Bernie several times and respect him. . . but I gotta side with xtime on this -- in general.

In every trading faq I have seen it has always been the senders responsibility to make sure the items arrive safe.

The only exception is when you buy something and the seller clearly states that buyer is responsible -- in which case I always buy insurance.

How can the receiver be responsible if the items never have made it to their hands?

And the reason I am posting this is I recently bought a card from ebay from Audrey Simpton (Wee Bee Cards). . . and the card never arrived. I emailed her multiple times to see what happened and she eventually told me if the card didn't arrive in another number of days she would refund my money -- she stopped responding at that point.

She never offered me any shipping options at all, and never said that buyer was responsible for items in the mail. . . I have no proof she even mailed the item.

As a buyer if you send money that doesn't arrive would you still expect the seller to send the item? Or. . . if you send your rent or mortgage check in and it doesn't arrive is it just waived? No, the sender is responsible for making sure the item arrives. . . I guarantee Audrey wouldn't have shipped the card if my money didn't arrive -- even though I did send the money (which she did receive by the way, this was just an example).

Sorry for being long-winded.

Jon

One of the easiest things to do on mail to make sure it is delivered costs only one dollar. Return reciept. They pay more attention to th4ese items it seems. I wouldnt do it for $3 worth of cards, but for $50, you bet your buns i would!

Unbelieveable that someone sending cards to complete a trade did not spend any additional "pennies" for delivery confirmation or
proof of mailing or even the low cost of insurance! Face it, in a "trade", not a sale in which you set the buyer terms, you are RESPONSIBLE for delivery or the trade value agreed upon. SEND REPLACEMENTS today or the money. Learn from your mistake and move on. Most of us have probably had a problem with mail delivery.

Mike Surratt
Mik'z Cardz - Lanham, MD
http://members.aol.com/mikzcardz/stand.htm

I think a word of THANKS is in order to all the collectors and friends who have posted supportive comments and all who have emailed me personally.
While my primary intent was to be of help to our community of collectors, it is good to know others agree and care. Trust is so vital with online trading.
SG and I are starting to exchange emails and work on an agreeable alternative. Things are moving slowly, but I hope in due time to be able to report good news.
Beyond that, I would like to read what others think about adding a trade feedback section to this site. For those who frequent the star wars page you are aware of the valuable service a feedback page can offer. What do you think?